This is the first in what I hope will turn out to be a long-running (daily?) and fun series of posts in which I take a random picture from my collection of saved pictures and write a little bit about it.

I have been on the internet ever since about 1995. Maybe 1996. Mid 90s, anyways. I remember getting our first PC (lol, Win95) and connecting it via the worst AOL dialup connection in the world. The modem purported to be a 28.8, but it usually connected at 1200 baud, 2400 if we got lucky. We eventually “graduated” to a local ISP that wasn’t AOL, and on a good day could connect at 26.4, so that was progress.

As time marched on, I moved through several iterations of computer; swapping bits of hardware for newer replacements as they became obsolete and repeatedly performing the ritual of culling and migrating data from one drive to its replacement. Through it all, I’ve deleted more data than I’ve saved, but I still have managed to accrue a respectable-sized collection of random-ass pictures. Pursuant to the sensibilities of good taste, prudence, and modesty, the actual size of the collection will not be disclosed. There are larger collections. There are smaller collections. This collection is mine, and I like it. It has items that that stimulate the funny gland in my brain just the right way and make me feel good. Which brings us to today’s picture:

For those poor souls with no time spent playing the classic NES game The Legend of Zelda, the first thing you’re supposed to do is go into a cave and meet an old man who says the above phrase and gives you a wooden sword. Yeah, it’s a shitty weapon, but it’ll get the job done and plus it was free, so pointing out its inferior quality after the fact is just really rude and insulting, but ultimately doesn’t matter because as you pick up the sword, the old man disappears before your very eyes without so much as a “Good luck!”

But imagine if instead of a crappy wooden sword, the old man thrust an adorable mewling kitten into your empty palms. To me the idea that a little kitten could be of more use to Link than a weapon is patently ridiculous. Unless your strategy was to distract your enemies with the overwhelming kitten cuteness and try to sneak by, unnoticed? Seems like a gamble to me.

I don’t know, though… the kitten is pretty darn cute.